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Medical Maniacs 'God Complex?' Read your Bible. I am God

"But they wear those stethoscopes. They look so professional. They seem so . . . uh . . . SMART."

Question: What gives you the right to stand on a pulpit & criticize doctors?

a typical email

Answer: Oh, keep reading . . .

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"I have an M.D. from Harvard. I am board certified in cardiothoracic medicine and trauma surgery. I have been awarded citations from seven different medical boards . . . . So I ask you: when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God . . . who do you think they're praying to? Go ahead and read your Bible. Go to your church and, with any luck, you might win the annual raffle. You ask me if I have a 'God Complex.' Let me tell you something: I am God."

Alec Baldwin
Malice

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Let us know when you think we're making it all up . . .

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The Strange Case of The Lipo-Diesel Doctor

Ever wonder what happens to the tonnage of liposuction tissue, sucked out of American tummies nationwide? We thought we knew.

The standard clinical procedure is for patients to sign on the dotted line (just beneath the paragraph that mentions you might die) that you agree to allow the facility to handle the disposal, which is shipped off to the local crematorium.

Thus begins the curious saga of Beverly Hills “plastic surgeon” Craig Alan Bittner, MD, and what formerly was called the Liposculpture Center on Rodeo Drive. In real estate, they tout “location, location” and the Liposculpture Center certainly found a home in this west coast capital of physical perfection. What Bittner’s patients knew is that his ads were slick and Rodeo Drive verily shouted “high class enterprise.” What they were slower to learn is that some procedures failed to turn out as promised; that non-surgical help performed surgical procedures; and their own, very personal body fat was being plopped into his girlfriend’s Lincoln SUV.

In European publications, Bittner bragged that he fueled several vehicles using his patients’ “liposucked excess body fat.” The clients were actually excited to be involved in his creative “eco-friendly” genius.

But in December, 2008, California Public Health decided to actually investigate this matter of human tissue into gas tanks. And then there were those pesky patients popping up, reporting some pretty ugly outcomes.

Research shows that this was not “Bio-Diesel Bittner’s” first scam. In Scottsdale, Arizona, in 2003, his Ameriscan Imaging Centers were shut down due to deceptive practices. Bittner resurfaced in Los Angeles as a “prominent plastic surgeon” with a whole new game plan for Beverly Hills - a place where, appropo, things are not always as they seem.

Just before Bittner, MD, closed up shop, however, he had a few parting words on his website:

“I am sad to announce that the rumors I have a private jet that runs on human fat are entirely untrue.”

“My patients always loved the idea of using their fat for fuel and I enjoyed turning liposuction into something more meaningful.”

We suspect “meaningful” to Bittner might mean “money.”

The last known whereabouts of Craig Allen Bittner? Either Columbia or Peru, South America. In which case he has certainly relocated to a “fat-friendlier environment:

Human Fat Results in Black Market Murders

CBS News - Reports that police in Lima, Peru have arrested a gang of black market profiteers who allegedly have killed five humans for their body fat. Reportedly, the fat was removed surgically, collected in bottles, and sold for as much as $60,000 per gallon to cosmetic firms in Europe.

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"Why do you do this?"

When you can save a life, you should. That's what decent folks do.

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Interview on Armstrong & Getty, San Francisco

Recent Interview on wsRadio

Save Some Lives While Entertaining the Troops. How Cool is That?

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Want to know what else is cool? We have real heroes in our midst - dedicated folks of intelligence & wit - in short, people who "get it."

One of these heroes is Jacqueline Marcell, a lady who has made it her mission in life to bring focus & passion to the challenge of humane care for our elderly, home-bound citizens. Her website is "Coping with Caregiving." Her bestselling book is "Elder Rage," and we ask that you take a look at them. We'd guess there is at least one person in your life who could benefit from her wisdom & humor. Ms. Marcell's work has helped countless thousands.

To learn more about this important subject - and the woman behind it - here's how to find her internet radio program & website:

CopingWithCaregiving

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Choosing a doctor is one of the most critical decisions you make

And that doctor ought not be listed in this book

Don't you think it would be a good thing to find out?

(Available at bookstores worldwide, as well as on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, and its own website. Paperback, limited edition, $14.99. 236 pages)

http://www.AmericasDumbestDoctors.com

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Think your personal MD is providing acceptable health care?

Go ahead. Ask him or her this question:

"Which of your peers are dangerous? Who should my family avoid?"

Just don't hold your breath waiting for an honest answer.

What you are looking at is the handiwork of a true nutcase in a lab coat, Alan Zarkin, a New York Ob/Gyn who - following a successful C-section on his patient - decided it would be fun to carve his initials ( "A" "Z" - get it)? into Liana Gedz' abdomen. In a surprisingly prescient move, the state medical board actually pulled his license (NY 095976) to toy with other people's bodies.

Zarkin had been playing fast & loose with the rules for years, as other physicians reported later. His hospital administrators knew full well they had a wacko on their hands. But did they bother to reign him in during his years of asinine antics?

Nope.

Primum, non nocere

Every physician in America knows what this ancient Latin vow means. First, do no harm. In simple, everyday terms: "don't make matters worse for your patient."

Ever wonder?

How, exactly, do Americans usually die? (Other than illness)

Lightening Strikes 90
Airplane Crashes 120
Homicides 20,000
Motor Vehicle Crashes 42,000
Careless Medical Treatment 195,000*

Annual Death Rates, U.S. citizens, Health Research Group, 2005 data findings

"You're unfairly exaggerating a few, very rare cases."
(a recent comment on an EMS website, where they really ought to know better)

To which we say, boy, are you in for an education . . . .

What you are looking at is an x-ray of Reverend Arturo Iturralde, following an operation on his neck by a surgeon named Robert Ricketson, in Hilo, Hawaii. Ricketson made the decision to saw off the handle of a screwdriver, and insert the shaft into the patient's spine, in order to support two titanium rods. As you can see, the screwdriver broke. Reverend Iturralde suffered paralysis and 5 months of severe pain prior to his death.

A rare, tragic incident? Not really. Ricketson had a string of lawsuits across other states prior to this surgery. He had moved to Hawaii for a fresh start. And boy, did he find a home. At the Hilo Medical Center, little matters like background checks were for nurses, not surgeons.

Note: Hospitals have all the tools necessary to relate shoddy physician histories. But it is rare when they show the ethical fortitude to actually do it. In this sad instance, there was no way in the world Reverend Iturralde would have been able to know how reckless his surgeon really was.

"The National Practitioner Data Bank (NPDB) Tracks 237,000 Questionable or Dangerous Doctors in America"

Heath Research Group, July, 2006

800,000 Physicians . . . 237,000 miscreants in 20 years

Can it possibly be true that - of 800,000 doctors in this country - over 200,000 have been considered - over the last three decades - "Questionable" or "Dangerous?"

Oh, it's very true. And if the math fails to impress you, your denial just might get you quietly killed.

Fact: when it comes to keeping you safe from the most dangerous medical stinkers in our country, your personal physician has no intention of letting you know who they are. You are therefore, my friends, on your own, in the very real snake pit known as modern health care.

Ever wonder about the Serpents on the Caduceus?

Ironic, isn't it?

Consider the following headline:

Problem Doctors: Conspiracy of Silence
New York Weekly News
June, 2006

An editorial based upon findings of the VitalSmarts Healthcare Professionals Survey, 2005. This research determined that of 68% of physicians who reported witnessing incompetent peer behavior on a monthly basis, fewer than 1% speak up about it.

"Just pretend it's not really happening . . . who's gonna know?"
"They think we're the smartest primates. Good Idea."

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For 30 years we've served in emergency services. We have personally treated 12,200 emergency patients. Our work has offered an up-close view of some of the biggest embarrassments in medicine. Since the late 1970's, - when we witnessed our first doctor commit murder - we've experienced a head-spinning string of antics, tirades, conniving, hilarity, idiotic tantrums, greed, nurse-rape and murder.

Just like Paramedics everywhere in America are doing now, we stayed out of it. Who were we to criticize? Doctors were . . . sacrosanct. (As were Catholic priests, curiously, until somebody decided to speak up)

Then one day, we looked at our uniform in the mirror. The patch read "Lifesavers" for God sake.

If not us - Who? If not now - When?

So we began studying our notes. Over the years, we discovered that plenty of other medical pros had been taking notes, too. And so we contacted them. We thought it might be an appropriate time to put all these nifty scribblings together in one easy-to-find spot. You know, sort of like a "wacky doctor" compendium.

Consider our efforts a continuation of what we've been doing all along: Saving a few lives. Losing others.

So what are we doing here, exactly? Well, it's pretty uncomplicated. This is what we do:

           1. Expose thousands of degreed nitwits, along with the
                     medical cowards who hide them. (And yes, we're naming
                     names.

2. Arm our readers with a few sharp sticks, to ward off the
serpents in your future

3. Entertain you a bit, along the way

After all, not all the insanity in lab coats is criminal. A whole bunch is thigh-slapping hysterical. Best you be the judge.

So as we continue building this site, do come visit us again. Next month we'll be adding a page where readers can let the world know all about their own bizarre encounters with Medical Maniacs. We're betting it'll take up more than one page.

Soon, we'll establish America's first "Stupid Doctor Cash Awards" program, for the best stories you send us. (All entries must be verifiable) Something tells us we'll be mailing out a lot of money, because there are a ton of stories yet to be told.

So check back now & then, if only to see if your own doctor makes our list. It could be the safest family health move you ever do.

Want to practice a little lifesaving yourself this Winter?
Order a copy of

America's Dumbest Doctors

Then give it to somebody you care about.

Above all: Don't let yourself become a Medical Maniac statistic.

We sort of think they've ruined enough lives already, don't you?

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Doctor Admits He Performed 10,000 Unneeded Eye Surgeries
Prosecutor: He'd write on charts: Do not invite this patient. He's too smart.
Manhatten Legal Press
May 23, 2003

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Hey! Any chance this fellow treats your mother?

Allow us to introduce Raymond Adamcik, MD. At the time of his arrest, he had tucked a large burrito in the crotch of his 'Captain America' tights, and decided it was good clean fun to start groping women in the On Tap Cafe. One woman's boyfriend didn't think it was funny, and neither - apparently - did the Melbourne Florida police. Adamcik lost his job, but he certainly didn't lose his medical license. A burrito-for-a-pee-pee, vagina-groping physician in tights wouldn't even make a blip on the radar of a state medical board. Bet this picture isn't hanging in his waiting room.

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Remember: a Lab Coat does not trump common sense.

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Did this doctor belong to you?

Vegas MD & Wife Sentenced to Prison in Fake Botox Injection Scheme

Stephen Lee Seldon, 54, and Deborah Martinez Seldon, 41, were found guilty in march, 2009, of both mail fraud and adulterating pharmaceuticals. Presiding was U.S. District judge Kent J. Dawson.

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America's Dumbest Doctors: Ever Wonder About Yours?

             Check it out . . .
            Because we don't just save lives when we're on duty

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For now, we leave you with this: Most physicians are neither criminal nor idiotic. And we tip our cap to them every chance we get. Let us start by sharing this nifty nugget offered to us by a terrific MD who - so far as we know - has never deliberately harmed a single patient in her life. She does, however, scribe some pretty cool poetry. And God love you.

Continuing Education

As a doctor I keep up with clinical news

By learning from patients and their TV views

New drugs, new trends, new surgical tricks

They’re experts now, Grey’s Anatomy kicks!

Differential diagnosis? Weird House is the best

Forensic pathology? CSI, they confess

No need to spend money by attending conventions

No need to read journals, with the best of intentions

My continuing education that I can’t live without

Springs from hospital dramas and the wisdom they spout.

Katherine Baker, MD